Jacksonville News 2010 Ediiton

This time last year I promised myself I would blog more. I would take time to journal the things that matter most day to day, but I seem to forget as the year goes by. Well, I didn't! I will try again in 2011. Many HUGE life changes this year happened in Jacksonville.....
The most notable is the beginning of our journey as a foster family. In April of this year Robb and I completed the process to become foster parents and within 2 weeks our family of 6 became a family of 10. That in itself sounded absurd. Who in there right mind CHOOSES to parent 8 children?????? The same 2 people that will later choose to parent 12!!! So far 20 children have come through that door and each one has brought their own unique qualities to love. We have had our heart broken multiple times as we've said good bye to children we loved and we've had our hearts overflow with joy as we watch little lives transform when met with the love of Jesus. I would have not been able to write our story better. I have seen changes in each one of us as we have faithfully walked this journey. The #1 comment we receive, which is also the one that provokes the deepest thought in me is "I could never do that, how do you let them leave?" . My response is this: That is why you do it. If you don't want to let them leave it's because you loved them the way Jesus calls us to. If you don't want them to leave that means you are loving selflessly and with correct focus. My concern would be if your heart didn't ache when a child you've loved on has to leave your home for any reason. My prayer for our family is that our hearts continue to ache-so I know we are doing this for the right reasons and that God chose the right family to love on His precious children.
Another big change that is related to the last is that in order to be able to take in more than 2 children at a time we had to have more than one adult in the home during the day. This led us to hiring help from and amazing woman that is a true joy to "work" with and an awesome friend. It also led us to making the decision to sell our printing equipment and bring Robb back home. We still serve our customers. Robb still does designing, we just contract out for the printing. It has been a huge stress relief and has been quite awesome having him working from home again. He is the best Dad I have ever known and the Jackson kids as well as every other child in our home is blessed to have him there.
Robb and I have learned a lot about each other through this past year. Most lessons being taught through parenting situations. The kids have learned a lot about us as well. Let's just say -they know exactly who to go to for each individual treat or privilege. They go to Dad most of the time, especially if it is $ related. I have learned now more than ever that I have the best parenting partner that God ever created.
Kami's senior year is now 1/2 over. It just seems surreal even typing that. It seems like just yesterday she was going off to her first day of preschool with a scabbed red nose from another one of her "curious explorations" She hasn't changed much in that department, she still has a curious side. I'm just very thankful that her maturity has changed and can sometimes control her curious inclinations. She has grown into an amazing woman. I witnessed her share her story with our group of Teen Moms this year and it the 30 minutes that God spoke through her are now engraved on my heart. She is a remarkable woman of God, I am proud to be her mom. She is now an employee of Chick fil A and we are thankful she now has a paycheck to turn to. Ryte Side is still playing a major role in her life-That crew is dope (an adjective she would choose, and a word she would ask me to never say again). Check them out on YouTube.
Lanni is certainly growing up. I have been amazed at her precious heart, witnessing as she transforms in front of my eyes from a girl in to a young woman. Her level of selflessness warms my soul. She is still the foo foo girly girl that she has always been. You will never catch that girl without a hair accessory-not even when she first wakes up in the morning. Lanni is definitely a social butterfly. Anyone whoever said that homeschooled children are socially challenged seriously needs to spend a day with this girl. She wears me out. She will have her name in lights one day, I can see it now! I hope she remembers who paid for all those lessons! Her laugh is contagious, her smile is uplifting, her heart is transparent, and her boldness for Christ is to be noticed.
Robbie has certainly come into his own on the soccer field. He has always been quite the little athlete, but I think he has now officially claimed his sport. That boy is on fire on the field. His passionate heart is almost as valuable as his left foot. I see more and more of his dad's qualities in him the older he gets. He is an extremely hard worker and committed to doing his best at everything. I am thankful that he passionately loves his family with his whole heart. The woman that I already pray for will be extremely blessed to call him her husband.
Elijah is not a baby anymore. I cannot believe that there were 10 candles on his cake this year. You can't be around that boy with out smiling! He has the exact same beautiful smile that he had 10 years ago. He is still my cuddle bug and I still cherish my Lijah Kisses! He has resumed his lessons in Tae Kwon Do. They were put on hold a few years ago after he broke his leg. He is doing well and I believe has found his niche. The last of our four asked to be baptized. It was a true blessing to watch my husband baptize our baby as he chose to publicly profess his faith in Jesus Christ.
We invest wholly in the ministries we are serving in. Robb took a major step of faith to lead an alternative service at our church. Timing may not have been perfect, but his vision and passion have been contagious and I'm sure we haven't heard the last of Five29. Teen MOPS is growing strong. The year started in March with 5 girls and will come to an end with 29 girls registered. The growth taking place in that group is mind boggling. Not only among the girls involved, but in the leadership team as well. Kami is still enjoying serving with the Kindergartners on Sunday mornings and Lanni with the infants. Both of the girls help with childcare for Teen MOPs and Robbie was so excited to finally be old enough to serve in the Kids ministry. We LOVE our life group and have thoroughly enjoyed growing in Christ alongside some of the most amazing people!
God has truly blessed us in 2010!
Through the year we've had relationships end and relationships begin, old relationships be renewed and new relationships explode. We've experienced heart ache and we've had our cups overflow with love. We've cried many tears and we've laughed till our tummies hurt. We've prayed for miracles and we've witnessed our great Savior showing up. We've watched friends pull away from God and we've witnessed people we love welcome Him into their heart. All in All it's been a pretty full year of life changing, mind blowing, show stopping events. I end this year thankful for more things that I can list, most of all thankful for a family full of people that choose to live for their King!
Merry CHRISTMAS and praying you have a BLESSED new year!

The things I've learned....

So, it's been 8 weeks since we officially became Foster Parents! I thought I would share some of the lessons I have learned in this short little time....some life changing, others quite silly.
1. No matter how hard you try or prep yourself for the inevitable-it is simply impossible to not become attached.
2. It is possible to answer the question Why? with real answers over 100 times in a day without going crazy.
3. Running the dishwasher 2 times everyday is normal in a family of 10.
4. One of the best compliments would be from the mouth of a 3 yr old boy as he grasps my cheeks and tells me I'm beautiful.
5. Sometimes we get caught up in thinking that kids that have never "had" anything would want everything when really all they want is you!
6. Taking 4 kids aged 5 and under to Walmart all by yourself is not so hard after all, except there's no room in the cart for groceries-so it renders itself pointless.
7. NO matter how well you plan, it doesn't matter if it doesn't match up with God's Will.
8. Your body really does adjust to waking up 3 times every night.
9. It doesn't take long to learn the different cry's of "your kids"
10. PB&J is always a sure thing.
11. Kami and Lanni both (when they are much older of course) are going to be amazing moms. They are huge helpers, I don't think I could do this without their help.
12. When you've got one that is used to being the "baby" of the family, it doesn't matter if their 10-they're going to show some signs of jealousy when they feel that role is being replaced.
13. The fireplace (with mantel) makes for a great stage for a "concert".
14. One date night in 8 weeks with my man is simply not enough.
15. 10 people wear a lot of clothes, which then mean they need to be washed.
16. Robbie is just as protective of non bio siblings as he is with the ones he shares blood with.
17. Having a structured, planned nap time could be what keeps me sane.
18. Not a new revelation, but a notable one-these 8 children have the most amazing dad on the planet.
19. No matter how bad they've been hurt-kids remain loyal to their bio parents. They miss them, they want them, they love them.
20. I am forever changed, as a mom, as a friend, as a wife, as a woman. I am learning everyday how to live more and more selflessly. How to love the way Christ designed me to love.

New Tat

New TAT

Originally posted: Wednesday, January 6, 2010 at 11:47pm

I've wanted it for a while. It's another one in Hebrew. I don't speak Hebrew (that's on my list though), I just think it is a beautifully written language. It is "pretty"! My tattoo means "bond-servant". I got it tatted on the back of my neck. A little bit of pain, for a lifelong reminder. I am sure there are some biblical scholars out there that may find some holes in my explanation, be aware I am far from a biblical scholar. This is what I know it to mean: In biblical days if you committed a crime and someone came along and paid for your crime in order to spare you the punishment, out of gratitude you would become their "bond-servant". This isn't something you would do out of obligation, it was done with true joy. A bond-servant realizes that nothing they have belongs to them, it is all just being entrusted to their care. A bond-servant does not ever expect to be served, it lives to serve others. A bond-servant finds joy in their master. They are delighted to live for their Master. Ultimately a bond-servant understands their purpose, there is no confusion or misunderstanding on why they are living. They truly understand that they are not their own. That is the desire of my heart. I long to live in obedience to an amazing God that paid the price for my crime. He became Man to suffer a horrible death because He knew that is what had to be done in order for ME to be reconciled to God. He knew that many of us that know him would choose to live differently. He already knew that I would spend many moments turning my back on Him as I choose to please myself instead of Him. He knew I didn't deserve it, He knew I would even have a hard time accepting it. He knew that over and over I would fail in my quest of becoming more like Him. Yet He did it anyway! He lived a sinless life, suffered death on the cross and rose from the dead 3 days later in order to give me life! How in the world can I know all that and not find absolute JOY in knowing that everything I have is not mine, it has just been entrusted to me (including my kids), and how could I ever expect to be served, I want to live to serve others. I find joy in my Master. I am delighted to live for my Master. I understand my purpose, there is no confusion or misunderstanding on why I am living. I truly understand that I am not my own. Now, I certainly forget many of these things throughout my day to day life, but these are the desires tattooed on my heart. So, I wanted a tattoo on the outside to serve as a reminder of the life I want to live out of gratitude.