I look around me at all of the other moms that have toddlers. Most are younger than I and have much more energy. Most are pushing the swing at the park and packed great lunches for their kids. Some are dying on the inside, just trying to keep up with the mom, wife, woman standing next to them. I remember being that woman. The one who didn't want anyone to know that I barely made it out of the house, how I had to redo my make up because I cried over some stupid argument my husband and I got into. I didn't want anyone to know that I yelled when I lost my temper, that I hid in the bathroom, counted quarters so I could get Starbucks, and always wished for bigger, better, nicer. I am thankful for this time, this clean slate to do it all over again. I have learned a lot over the last 20 years of being an adult......there are six things I wish I had known back then.
1. No one can make you happy. Searching for the perfect person that makes everything in your world sparkle will only leave you disillusioned and distraught. You have to be happy on the inside. You have to have the kind of joy that only comes from Christ. You have to want to make others happy more than you want to be happy. You don't have to "settle", but you have to be real. Finding the person that completes you is just as imperfect as you are.
2. You can't be "fed" if you are still wearing a bib. You can't sit around wishing for a deeper relationship with Christ if you aren't willing to be His hands and feet. You can't wait for some message that is delivered to set off a light bulb and all of a sudden your cup overflows. Depth in relationship with Him comes from being like Him, from serving others, from giving to others, from studying Him, from being less like YOU. It doesn't come from the latest and greatest sermon.
3. It is much more attractive to fall apart. My greatest friendships have been with women that know me. They know how often I fail. They know that there is dried cereal stuck to my dining room table and pee on my bathroom floor. They know that I am insecure and have a hard time trusting. They know I'm not rich and some months can barely pay my bills. They know I sometimes say things to my kids I wish I didn't. They know I fight with my husband. They have seen me cry. They don't always tell me what I want to hear and I love them for that. It is ok to not have it all together.
4. Spend time being unproductive. Don't always stick to your list. Sometimes the greatest moments are the unplanned ones. It is ok to not be in control. You don't have to always be involved in another activity, or have somewhere to go. There doesn't have to be an agenda. Just live life. One day at a time. Together.
5. EVERYTHING worth having is worth fighting for or working for. Don't ever think that if it is hard, it isn't worth it. Marriage is hard. Being a mom is hard. Being real is hard. Following Jesus is hard.
6. Listen. Spend more time listening than talking. Sometimes, they just don't want advice~they just want to know you care enough to listen. Sometimes, the way you say "I love you" is by saying nothing at all. Sometimes, they need you to be quiet so the Holy Spirit is the only voice they hear. Listen to the little stories and the things that make no sense at all. Listen to them laugh and listen to them cry. Just listen. Listen to God. Listen to His voice. Don't ever underestimate the power of the Holy Spirit and how dangerous it is to ignore It.
I love this stage of life. I am ok with getting a little older, I am good with having some years under my belt. Having being taught so many lessons makes the new ones easier to learn. Never stop learning.
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