A Month of Gratitude

 Although I am thankful for many things all year long, I enjoy spending the month of November naming something different every day. I love what facebook has done for my journaling.  It has encouraged me to document more, and among many other things, it is something I am thankful for.  Here's a look at my posts for November, 2011. A glimpse at some of the things I am most thankful for, and pretty much sums up my year in form of gratitude.

Nov. 1~Today I am thankful for TeenMOPS, the ministry itself and the heart behind it, as well as the faithful women I serve alongside!! So, so blessed to be a part of it.

Nov. 2~I would like to be all sentimental and share some deep thought of gratitude for day #2, but with child #7 throwing up today I gotta be real and say this is what I am thankful for. It's the disinfectant and hand sanitizer!!!  That's it.

Nov. 3~Today I am thankful for an amazingly helpful family. They always step up and do whatever it takes, even when they are "voluntold". They are some paper cuttin' fools.

Nov. 4~Today I am thankful for an amazing kids team at an awesome church. And all of the people that invested their time and resources to make this year's Extreme Road Trip so crazy good.

Nov. 5~Today I am thankful for an amazing man that sees things in me that I would never recognize without him. He sees me for who I am and still pursues me. He shows me a love I don't deserve and still treats me like a princess after all these years. He was my prince charming that rescued me many years ago, and is still my prince charming now. He truly is the man of my dreams and I am blessed to be his wife.

Nov. 6~Today, on Orphan Sunday I am thankful that though I was once an orphan living in a desperate world I was adopted into the Kingdom by the King of Kings; although I am sinful, He desires my worship, meets me where I DON'T belong, and accepts me as His own. He loves me and redeems me from who I once was and I am made new in Him. I am grateful beyond words to be loved by the Father.

Nov. 7~Today I am thankful that our kids and their friends like hanging at our house....no matter how old they get. I bet it is something I have always taken for granted, well-not anymore. What a blessing it has been and continues to be.

Nov. 8~Today I am thankful for facebook and the ability to network. Two local businesses are supporting our family through our upcoming adoption with fundraisers and I was able to create a page for y'all to "like" to help me spread the word.  It will help me reach even more people than those on my friends list.

Nov. 9 ~Today, I am thankful for the ministry of MOPS. I am thankful for the changes it has made in my life over the last 14 years and I am thankful to be a part of the changes it is making in others lives. Ministry is never perfect, because people are involved, but MOPS is about as close to perfect as I have seen.

Nov. 10~Today I am thankful for my mom. When she found out about me, so many choices could have been made. She chose life. Being raised by a mentally disabled mom has taught me so much about myself and how to really love. Taught me to be independent and responsible, how to have self control, and how to love unconditionally. She has struggled with many things throughout her life, but she has always loved me and made me feel like I was her everything.

Nov. 11~Today I am thankful for my freedom, and the men and women that protect it. I am thankful for their courage and sacrifice. I am thankful that they stand to protect me and my family while their families are so far away. I am thankful for the women who stand in the gap and parent their children alone while their husbands are making sure I can parent my children the way I see fit. I am thankful for the moms who have buried their sons and daughters so I can safely tuck mine in at night. I am thankful for the blessing of worshiping our God in freedom and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that is only possible because so many answered the call and sacrificed so much. My gratitude is beyond words.

Nov. 12~Today I am thankful for swing sets and that we have a pretty cool one. My kids played outside forever today which meant I got to visit with a sweet friend while they stayed busy!! It was a treat! Just what I needed!

Nov. 13~Today I am thankful for the four children that I gave birth to. They are all wise beyond their years. When we decided to foster/adopt it was a family decision. Every discussion we have about it, their perspective is completely selfLESS and Christ centered. They have sacrificed so much in the eyes of a child, but with very little complaint. They step up whenever I need them, they love whole heartedly even though they've experience the pain of loss, and they give more than what is ever expected. They are true servants of the King. There are many reasons they make me proud, but this my friends is my favorite!

Nov. 14~Today, I am thankful for Heidi Miller. Biology made us cousins, but life made us sisters. She is strong, she is courageous, she is focused, she is an inspiration to other women. She never gives up, she loves everyone, she never judges, she always keeps her word, she makes me laugh, she listens to me cry, she would do anything for me, she is ALWAYS there for me, I know that no matter what-I can count on her, and she makes this killer chicken broccoli dish. She always tells me how much she looks up to me, the reality is she inspires me to be a better me. I love you Heidi Lynn.

Nov. 15~Today I am thankful for our Lifegroup. I am thankful that even after a season of wandering around, feeling lost and lonely, God has circled us back in and planted us in a family! We are connected, We are blessed and I am grateful.

Nov. 16~Today I am thankful for God's provision. I am thankful for the way He shows up when I least expect Him, which means I am thankful for His faithfulness when my faith is lacking. I could share so many stories of how He has blown me away and more of how I didn't think He would. He always has our back and ALWAYS provides for our family. He always knows what we need and what we don't.......we always have what we need.

Nov. 17~Today I am thankful that my kids love each other. They protect each other, hang out together, cheer for each other, they have got each other's back. They are the best of friends.

Nov. 18~Today I am thankful for caffeine.....have needed a lot of that today!!

Nov. 19~Today I am thankful for a woman that I never met. I am thankful that with each of my boys, she chose life. Although I would give anything for their paths to not have been what they were, I am grateful beyond measure that those paths led them to the heart of Jacksonville.

Nov. 20~Today I am thankful for my Texas family. I am thankful for the many that came out to celebrate with us today. I feel abundantly blessed and my heart overflows. I am grateful for the family that God has surrounded us with and am blown away continuously by the love and support they all so selflessly give!!!

Nov. 21~Today I am thankful for my Nanny (Grandma). She loved on me and set boundaries when I knew none, and let me break the rules when she thought I needed to. She has many grandchildren and makes me feel like I am her favorite (I am sure I am not the only one that feels that way). I am thankful for the smile I can hear in her voice every time she hears mine. I am thankful that she spent many nights praying for me while I was growing up. I am thankful for the groceries she used to sneak and leave on my doorstep when I felt like the world was against me. I am thankful for the countless nights on her lap watching Dallas and sipping her coffee. I am me because she set the example.

Nov. 22~Today I am thankful for reality TV. (not all of it of course) It is something our entire family enjoys doing together. On any given day, you will hear a Jackson say "can we watch one of our shows?" We all pile in the living room and watch together...... Tonight, it's Xfactor.

Nov. 23~Today I am thankful for date nights, a husband who always knows exactly what I need, and an amazing, selfless friend that comes over to pour love into my children so Robb and I can pour love into each other. Thank you Miss Teresa. We love you.

Nov. 24~Today I am thankful for my family, and the man I am creating memories with! I am thankful for understanding the true meaning of "family" and having many of them to spend my day with! I am thankful that Christ is at the center of our family. I am thankful for technology and the ability to share moments with family that is too far away to spend the day with. I am thankful to have another Miller in my house today too!! It is a glorious day and I have many things to be thankful for.

Nov. 25~Today I am thankful for the Allen family. I am thankful that God worked things out so Robb and I have bff's that are married. I am thankful that our kids adore each other. I am thankful that I have a best friend that isn't just my "yes" girl. She keeps it real for me. I am thankful that Robb has a best friend that I can trust. They've got our back. They have walked alongside us even when the walk was not pleasant. Although I am not thankful for the distance between us, I am thankful that no matter how much time passes between our visits, it is like the distance is irrelevant. We love us some Allen's.

Nov. 26~Tonight I am thankful for my girls, cuz they are awesome.           

Kami ~I just thought you should know how thankful I am for you and the woman you have become. You let your light shine among men. In my month of gratitude facebook posts, I listed that you were awesome, but now I am feeling like that just isn't enough!! I am grateful beyond words to have been chosen to be your mom. You are wise beyond your years and your heart for Jesus continues to blow me away. Thank you for being YOU and being you all the time, even when everyone is around. Who you are when no one is looking is just as admirable as the woman you are when you have an audience and there aren't many people in the world like that. I love you my little boo boo. (sorry, had to throw that in)

Lanni~So, a few days ago in my "today I am thankful for" post I said my girls were "awesome". Which, of course you are, but I am now feeling like that isn't enough. I want you to know how thankful I am to be your mom and how ridiculously grateful I am that you have a heart that loves Jesus and it shines through you in everything you do. You have a heart of service and I know it pleases God. Your life is a testimony and you consistently give God the glory in everything you do. I always tease you about your attitude, cuz honestly it is too much like mine. But I am thankful that same attitude is what gives you the bold courage to say what you mean. I know you will always be the voice of this family. I am also thankful for your loving heart! You are a beautiful girl on the inside and out, I am overwhelmingly blessed by you!!

Nov. 27~Today I am thankful for family traditions. I am thankful that some of our kids are getting older and letting us know how much those traditions mean to them. I love the traditions that the Holidays bring out. I am thankful that family time is an important part of our week. I am thankful that we are in control of the legacy we leave and I am thankful that the Jackson family legacy will now be one that our grandchildren's grandchildren will be proud of.

Nov. 28~Today I am so thankful for spiritual leadership and accountability in my life. I am thankful that there are people in my life that love me enough to point me in the right direction, help me to navigate through rough terrain, and always catch me when I fall, no matter how uncomfortable it may be. My husband is my number 1 accountability partner and I am so thankful for his bold leadership, but I am also so grateful for my lifegroup, and the church leadership we fall under. We are blessed.

Nov. 29~Today I am thankful for a home full of giggles. Although they drive me crazy sometimes, when I am trying to get work done and they wont stop messing around....I wouldn't trade the sound of their laughter for much of anything. I am beyond grateful for belly laughs and the giggles that bring tears!!

Nov. 30~Today I am thankful for the month of November. Thankful for the opportunity to exercise self discipline and take time to reflect on the sooo many things that I have to be thankful for. I am thankful for the spirit of gratitude that has nestled it's way in my heart and am praying that it takes refuge there for many months to come.

I don't need me another "yes" girl!!

I have been wanting to write about this for a long time.  A lot of things have held me back, many of those things probably directly linked to the lack of popularity the subject will have.  And then more so the lack of popularity my opinion will have.  So, trusting that there is reasons beyond my understanding that support the need for this blog, I shall write!
I have never been much of a "yes" girl.  I would like to attribute my lack of close friendships to that quality.  You know what a "yes" girl is.....it's that kind of friend you call upon when you need your poor actions, choices, or opinions validated!  You need someone to help you justify the things you've said, thought or done.  You don't instinctively call on your "truth" girl!  She is far too threatening when you're in that mode.  I know-I've made calls to my yes girls! I've watched my girls follow in those footsteps.  I've witnessed them choose their "yes" girls when they are at a point when what they really need is their truth girl.  And I've watched them choose their truth girl.  The latter option, always has the better outcome.
I have spent tears wondering, wishing I could understand why I have had CLOSE friends lie to me or avoid me when they are struggling with something.  Why I am not the friend they chose for comforting.  I have fought to understand why I can't just keep my mouth shut. I have wanted, at times, to be a yes girl.  I struggle sometimes with deciding do I follow the Spirit and speak truth or do I say what I think my friend wants to hear??  A decision has been made; I pray I am never your "yes" girl.  Even if that means you don't call me when you are struggling.  I have to believe that you want what I want; and that is someone that will pour Truth into me even when it hurts.  When I call to vent about my husband, remind me what a blessing he is and ask if I have examined myself in whatever situation. If I am complaining about church leadership or ministries, please ask if I am willing to be part of the solution.  If I am calling to talk about someone else's drama, please ask me to shut it up.  If I stop you to come up with a plan to cut some corners, please just help me devise a way to round them.  If I am telling you too much info about one of my beautiful children, please remind me how much that hurts them.  Please be my truth girls!
Over the past year this topic has been ringing all too true in my life.  Hangin' with my BFF in Nashville gave me the glorious reminder of how truly irreplaceable a truth girl is.  I am thankful for people in my life that give me truth no matter what. I pray that my girls always choose truth girls.  I pray that you choose to be a truth girl.  -no one needs another "yes" girl.

2011 in TWO Word Review

Cross Country
Praying Wives
Heart Break
Date Nights
Just Dance
Chick Fil A
Braces Off
Repeat Trainings
Graduated Student
Renewed Vows
Family Visit
Six Flags
Adult Child
Restored Relationships
Fourteen Birthdays
MOPS Convention
Bestie Time
Summer Camps
Small Group
Best Friends
New Friends
Sambrano Visit
Budget Crunching
Baby Brayden
Jealous Boys
Cali Trips
Chipped Tooth
Break Dance
Soccer Games
Tae Kwon Do
Beautiful Voice
Major Breakthroughs
Afro Puff
Crockpot Meals
Adoption Day
Sweet Kisses
Mommy's Boy
Broken Arm
Overwhelming Generosity
Family Time
Growing Pains
Letting Go
Fervent Prayers
Amazing Grace

Mommy of the Year

Not that I was in the running before, but let's just say I am certain that I was completely eliminated today.  WOW!!  I said things I shouldn't have said, let my voice get louder than it should have, and certainly delivered very little today from a heart of love and grace.  I had a really bad day.  The combination of changing rooms around, the house being torn apart, potty training twin 2 yr olds, transitioning them in to toddler beds, spending the past 2 weeks sanitizing after each child completed their bout with the stomach bug, the 4 hours of sleep last night and just being in a total funk has definitely taken it's toll and today I am sad to say the top blew off and it was far from pretty.  It would be fair to say that many apologies are in order.  I don't do that often, really I don't.  I seldom raise my voice and I almost never have used a curse word in any of my children's presence.  I don't say that to toot my own horn, but to clearly define how out of sorts today was.  I am sure my head spun at least 3 times around and green stuff has been spewing all over this week anyway, so that part was normal.  I would categorize my parenting strategies today as far from admirable and just short of insane.
I remained in my pity party all the way up until bed time.   Baths were in session, jammies were on, bedtime stories had been read, and I was in the little boys' room grumpily getting them into bed as I was also emptying out a laundry basket into their rightful drawers.  Then it happens-God's smack across the face.  As if He was saying "who do you think you are? Do you not know who these children are, they are mine-just as you are.  Please behave as such".  It wasn't God's audible voice that I heard, but the bantering of a sweet two year old.  I turn to focus on him and see Malachi Jamar laying in his big boy bed with eyes closed, hands folded and murmuring out loud praying to our faithful God.  He has never done that before without being prompted and if you know these boys, and how far they have come- you would understand the miracle in that.  Well, he got my attention as I tried to imagine what his sounds were saying "Please Lord, help my mommy get good rest so she can have a sane day tomorrow".  Or maybe he was saying "thank you God for this family" or maybe it was "thank you God for giving me a mommy that loves you".  Who knows, but my 2 1/2 year old boy that was completely non verbal a year ago was praying to our faithful God, out loud, clear as anything.  I joined him in prayer and by the "Amen" I got the biggest hug and smile from that boy.  I am so incredibly blessed.  Even though I may disappoint myself some days, I am completely redeemed in a moment by a sweet baby boy that thinks the world of me.

because I am a mom....

it takes me 2 hours to drink a cup of coffee, I can tell the difference between the giggles of each of my children, I shower whenever I can sneak in 15 minutes, I eat lunch at random times of day, I wash 8 jumbo loads of laundry each week that takes 10 baskets to hold while it is all waiting to be folded, I seldom will get a pedicure, when one of my children smile-my heart is filled, I live on few hours of sleep, I still read a book titled "words", I still play with dolls and color crayons, I constantly say "don't eat that" and "you have to eat that" to the same children, I turn my head when I hear a child say "mom" even though I don't recognize the voice, I give at least 20 kisses per day, I love when my boys kiss my forehead, it hurts my heart when my kids disrespect me, I can eat, drink coffee, check facebook, type a blog entry, text, record an invoice, do my makeup and even get dressed-while holding a baby, I find joy when my kids feel they have accomplished something, my heart hurts when they disappoint themselves, I make my dinner plate last, and serve a round of seconds before I sit down, I say bedtime prayers at least 2 times every night, with 3 groups, I am overwhelmed by unconditional love, I MUST have my calendar or I fall apart, the Pediatrician's office knows my first name,  I love finding treasures at the thrift store, my house is rarely ALL clean,  I end up with at least 12 single socks every week, I match at least 80 pair of socks each week, I refuse to clean the boys' bathroom, I have mastered the diaper assembly line, I get 12 I love you's every single day and each one is beautiful, I am still wondering why we needed to know some of the things we learned in 6th grade?, I have a Speech Therapist, Occupational Therapist, Behavioral Therapist, Diagnostician, 3 Schools, Pediatrician, Optometrist, 2 School Nurses, 2 CPS workers, 1 Caseworker, After Hours #, Poison Control, and the CoOp oversight's phone numbers all on speed dial, I'm not really into "Girls Night Out", my book club is reading "Diary of a Wimpy Kid", I love when my neighbor visits me out of the blue, I appreciate my husband more, I have learned so much about the mind of a "boy", I have come up with code words for anything that would embarrass my kids,  the best vacations are the ones that have 14 people on them, I would rather sit with 5 kids touching me on the couch than in a bubble bath, I have a new understanding for "skin time", I am not phased when I feel tiny hands up my shirt touching my back, I can live without Starbucks-but consider it a very special treat, I pick out 7 outfits every day, I am considering taking up camping as a new pass time, I bought a fishing pole, I know the difference between XBOX and playstation, I spend more money on food than ANYTHING else (including my mortgage), I love reading my kids FB posts, I have random dance parties, and best of all-I get a tiny, blissful glimpse of the love my Father has for me.

It's all in a name....

I am in the midst of initiating some name changes around here.  The blog needed a new name....one that defines the writer a little better.  Originally, when I first started the blog I called it Jacksonville News.  My intentions were to continually share the happenings in Jacksonville.  It grew into me sharing a little more of myself than just the happenings in our home.  I wanted the name to reflect that.  So, the new name-Giggles, Laundry, and the Cross.  Something I love, something I hate, and something essential.  A better reflection of me, the writer. I don't just want to share the "happenings", I want to share my heart.  So, welcome to Giggles, Laundry, and the Cross.
.....more name changes to come, btw ;-)

A hospital, not a country club...

Something came up this week at convention that troubles my heart. During one of the break out sessions I attended a session that was specifically set aside for Teen MOPS leaders. One of the common concerns among that group of leaders was the lack of support from their Christian/Church families. Stories of how their sponsoring church would not allow them to hold a teen MOPS group at their church so they are meeting in a public school to stories of how they were having a really hard time finding Classic MOPS groups that would “sister” them and come along side them to provide support. Let me start by explaining that we do not suffer from either of these issues. Our chartering ministry (Fellowship of the Parks Church) has been amazingly supportive from the very first day I sat down with a few members of the leadership team and shared my passion. They stepped up and have walked alongside us the whole time we have been ministering to these young women. We are also very blessed by a local Classic MOPS group (Chartering ministry- The MET). From their tangible generosity to their prayer and sharing of their time-our group has been blessed beyond measure. We have also been blessed by faithful financial supporters from all over the metroplex that have generously given their resources to keep this ministry going. Unfortunately, we are the only group, that I personally met leaders from, that have support in all areas. We also have a team of remarkable women, that come from several surrounding church bodies, that not only have a passion for these young moms, but a drive to serve whole heartedly and sacrificially. There was a room full of women with the passion, and I am assuming the drive required to pull off a successful TeenMOPS program-however they are missing the other important, and necessary elements. The support. It wasn't just the lack of support that hurts my heart. I am also burdened to hear the reasons and the responses they are getting when they are soliciting support. They are being met with opposition through comments like “don't you think this just encourages teen pregnancy?”, “we don't want our community to think all these girls come from our church”, “aren't you nervous about letting those girls know your personal information”, “we can't be supportive of a group that would support girls in that situation”..... I could go on, but I am guessing you get the point. We are CHRIST followers folks and my opinion is that Christ would be incredibly disappointed with these responses. We are to LOVE as He loved us, not out of a spirit of judgement or condemnation, but out of a spirit mercy and grace. The only difference between “those kind of girls” (which I happened to be one of them) and those judging us is that you happen to know the sin I fell into. The church building is meant to be a hospital not a country club. We come there to be filled up, loved on, encouraged, and supported by a body of believers. Not to be made felt like we are judged, looked down upon, or less than.

I LOVE the teen MOPS ministry. I love each and every young mom that God has brought through the doors to take part in our group, I love the fellow believers that walk alongside me and offer these young women unconditional love, as well as practical support.

You are missing the mark people if you think Christ would encourage this lack of support. These ladies can't do this alone. They need your faithful support.

I realize my passion is that of teen moms. I also realize that they aren't the only group that we self righteous Christians choose to look down upon, I am even sure if you dug long enough you may be able to help me find the log in my eye. That isn't my purpose....my purpose is to TRY to get those of you who could be making a difference in this area to step up and do something. I am sure there is a Teen MOPS group in your area.

This situation makes me think of Jesus and the leper, and one of the speakers this weekend pointed out a piece of that story that has been impressed upon my heart. Jesus hugged him first-before He healed him. What a profound example He set.

ALSO,-mini disclaimer-please don't for a minute that our group can't use more help, support, or prayer warriors....we will never have enough of that!