Mommy of the Year

Not that I was in the running before, but let's just say I am certain that I was completely eliminated today.  WOW!!  I said things I shouldn't have said, let my voice get louder than it should have, and certainly delivered very little today from a heart of love and grace.  I had a really bad day.  The combination of changing rooms around, the house being torn apart, potty training twin 2 yr olds, transitioning them in to toddler beds, spending the past 2 weeks sanitizing after each child completed their bout with the stomach bug, the 4 hours of sleep last night and just being in a total funk has definitely taken it's toll and today I am sad to say the top blew off and it was far from pretty.  It would be fair to say that many apologies are in order.  I don't do that often, really I don't.  I seldom raise my voice and I almost never have used a curse word in any of my children's presence.  I don't say that to toot my own horn, but to clearly define how out of sorts today was.  I am sure my head spun at least 3 times around and green stuff has been spewing all over this week anyway, so that part was normal.  I would categorize my parenting strategies today as far from admirable and just short of insane.
I remained in my pity party all the way up until bed time.   Baths were in session, jammies were on, bedtime stories had been read, and I was in the little boys' room grumpily getting them into bed as I was also emptying out a laundry basket into their rightful drawers.  Then it happens-God's smack across the face.  As if He was saying "who do you think you are? Do you not know who these children are, they are mine-just as you are.  Please behave as such".  It wasn't God's audible voice that I heard, but the bantering of a sweet two year old.  I turn to focus on him and see Malachi Jamar laying in his big boy bed with eyes closed, hands folded and murmuring out loud praying to our faithful God.  He has never done that before without being prompted and if you know these boys, and how far they have come- you would understand the miracle in that.  Well, he got my attention as I tried to imagine what his sounds were saying "Please Lord, help my mommy get good rest so she can have a sane day tomorrow".  Or maybe he was saying "thank you God for this family" or maybe it was "thank you God for giving me a mommy that loves you".  Who knows, but my 2 1/2 year old boy that was completely non verbal a year ago was praying to our faithful God, out loud, clear as anything.  I joined him in prayer and by the "Amen" I got the biggest hug and smile from that boy.  I am so incredibly blessed.  Even though I may disappoint myself some days, I am completely redeemed in a moment by a sweet baby boy that thinks the world of me.

because I am a mom....

it takes me 2 hours to drink a cup of coffee, I can tell the difference between the giggles of each of my children, I shower whenever I can sneak in 15 minutes, I eat lunch at random times of day, I wash 8 jumbo loads of laundry each week that takes 10 baskets to hold while it is all waiting to be folded, I seldom will get a pedicure, when one of my children smile-my heart is filled, I live on few hours of sleep, I still read a book titled "words", I still play with dolls and color crayons, I constantly say "don't eat that" and "you have to eat that" to the same children, I turn my head when I hear a child say "mom" even though I don't recognize the voice, I give at least 20 kisses per day, I love when my boys kiss my forehead, it hurts my heart when my kids disrespect me, I can eat, drink coffee, check facebook, type a blog entry, text, record an invoice, do my makeup and even get dressed-while holding a baby, I find joy when my kids feel they have accomplished something, my heart hurts when they disappoint themselves, I make my dinner plate last, and serve a round of seconds before I sit down, I say bedtime prayers at least 2 times every night, with 3 groups, I am overwhelmed by unconditional love, I MUST have my calendar or I fall apart, the Pediatrician's office knows my first name,  I love finding treasures at the thrift store, my house is rarely ALL clean,  I end up with at least 12 single socks every week, I match at least 80 pair of socks each week, I refuse to clean the boys' bathroom, I have mastered the diaper assembly line, I get 12 I love you's every single day and each one is beautiful, I am still wondering why we needed to know some of the things we learned in 6th grade?, I have a Speech Therapist, Occupational Therapist, Behavioral Therapist, Diagnostician, 3 Schools, Pediatrician, Optometrist, 2 School Nurses, 2 CPS workers, 1 Caseworker, After Hours #, Poison Control, and the CoOp oversight's phone numbers all on speed dial, I'm not really into "Girls Night Out", my book club is reading "Diary of a Wimpy Kid", I love when my neighbor visits me out of the blue, I appreciate my husband more, I have learned so much about the mind of a "boy", I have come up with code words for anything that would embarrass my kids,  the best vacations are the ones that have 14 people on them, I would rather sit with 5 kids touching me on the couch than in a bubble bath, I have a new understanding for "skin time", I am not phased when I feel tiny hands up my shirt touching my back, I can live without Starbucks-but consider it a very special treat, I pick out 7 outfits every day, I am considering taking up camping as a new pass time, I bought a fishing pole, I know the difference between XBOX and playstation, I spend more money on food than ANYTHING else (including my mortgage), I love reading my kids FB posts, I have random dance parties, and best of all-I get a tiny, blissful glimpse of the love my Father has for me.