Mother's Day with a new perspective!

So yesterday was a battle of the mind! I will warn you in advance that some of my innermost weaknesses will be revealed in this post! Judge if you must, but please keep it in your head;-)
I spent a majority of my day and the days leading up to it pouting, remaining in the midst of my own pity party that I threw in honor of my own selfishness! Knowing that Robb had 2 softball games to play, I knew far ahead of time that my Mother's Day would not consist of the normal world rotation around my feet! I knew my day would look different and I decided in advance to be disappointed in the scenery! I was bummed I had to prepare a meal, bummed I had to clean up and serve that meal and disappointed that I was spending my day taking care of the very reason there is a day to celebrate at all!! How lame is that? I joked with a friend that it is a bit ridiculous that what we moms want most on Mother's Day is to be treated like we aren't the mom!
My thoughts throughout the day spent time wandering, thinking about women in my life that probably would give about anything to have all of the responsibilities of a mom today! Mostly, my thoughts lingered around a woman who is much like my mom; mentally disabled-bipolar, schizophrenic, and probably very lonely. A woman who gave birth to at least 7 children that I know of that she was clearly incapable of properly caring for. Four of those children now call me mom. I have extreme mixed feelings about her. My heart hurts for her as I think about how much my mom loves me, but probably wasn't fit to properly care for me either. I have some amazing aunts and a perfect grandma that have loved on me, guided me, protected me, and disciplined me all the days of my life! Women that had they not been the ones God chose to surround me with, my life would be in a completely different direction. Then there is the arguing, a bit harsh thoughts of -why didn't she get help? Why did she allow my boys to be so hurt and neglected? Why didn't someone step in? Why were they left in her care so long? The argument in my head would continue with thoughts thinking about how hard today must be for her with so much of what has happened being a product of her lost mind, how sad she must be to not have a stack of homemade cards sitting on her bedside table as I do! She is probably lonely, hurt, and confused-still having no one around her to help, and support her in her sickness!
God is so perfect in His infinite wisdom. I don't know all of his reasons he gave me my mom, but I do know that one of the gifts she has given me is a level of empathy for a woman that I could so easily hate.